I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize