I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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