If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize