i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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