I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
