You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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