I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she peed on how many people?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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