If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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