Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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