hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
