She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
