I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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