I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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