too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
