is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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