I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Even my vagina gasped.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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