maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
