oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize