with your own penis?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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