Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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