Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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