Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
