Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
