you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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