Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
