you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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