I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
