They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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