spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
