I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
