THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
