I'm eating all of the evidence.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
