i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
