His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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