do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
