Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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