HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
