I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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