i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
