I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
