we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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