I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
