How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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