when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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