worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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