I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
