they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
