If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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