While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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