I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
