Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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