dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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