How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
