i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
