Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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