Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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