brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
